A Mother’s Day Dream of Hope

This Mother’s Day, if Caroline’s son doesn’t contact her, she’ll be fine. Maybe she’ll enjoy some chocolate and go to Andrew Haydon Park for a stroll along the Ottawa River.

Whatever happens, Caroline will be a little lighter in her step and her heart, knowing her only son is safe in his new home at Shepherds of Good Hope.

It was a cold February morning when Caroline went downtown to pick up her son. It was moving day. He was moving into his new home, a place where he can sleep, shower, eat, feel safe and get the support he had been missing since he first began experiencing homelessness years earlier.

As she walked toward the homeless Centre where Ben (not his real name) was meeting her, she noticed someone in a tiny alcove, just steps from the sidewalk. It was her son. He had overdosed.

She rushed toward the centre looking for help, and, as they always do for others, a team of frontline heroes ran to assist, administering Naloxone and eventually reversing the effect of the drug her son had just taken.

Through the tears welling up in her eyes, she turned to the person who had just saved her son’s life. “You are amazing,” she said, thanking her, not just for saving her son, but for the way she always treated him with kindness and respect.

“The fact you smile, or you’re kind to someone,” said Caroline. “When you go find a pair of socks, a coat or warm clothes for someone who’s freezing, or just your caring that may stop someone from hurting themselves.”

After he recovered, Ben stood up, and walked to Caroline’s car. Together they drove to his new, supportive home.

It was surreal. One minute Ben is getting emergency care on the sidewalk, the next minute, he’s being welcomed by a team of nurses, staff, and support workers at Shepherds of Good Hope.

Things were about to change, for Ben and his mum. A door was opening toward the hope for her son that had been eluding her since he was a teen.

When he was young, Caroline and her son would go to movies together. As a single mum raising two children, she had her hands full, but she thinks fondly of those innocent times.

Moving to Ottawa from overseas, with an eight-year-old boy and eleven-year-old daughter to look after as well as her aging parents, Caroline knew she might face challenges, even as she dreamed of a bright future for her and her two young children.

Her dreams began to fade when her son got introduced to drugs in high school.

“It was marijuana at first,” she says. “Then it was psychedelics, magic mushrooms.”

At seventeen, he was admitted to the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre, where he stayed for six months, eventually being diagnosed with schizophrenia.

While the drugs he was using helped settle his mind for short periods of time, they were also slowly devouring his life; and the dreams of his mum.

Attending a graduation, standing up at a wedding, being a grandmother, for Caroline, those dreams are on hold while she focuses on her two adult children and her own mental health and wellness.

“Since moving him into Shepherds, I can sleep at night,” she says “I don’t worry every minute. I can do things for myself, knowing he’s in the care of some incredibly special people.”

Her son experienced homelessness for almost three years. Unbearably cold winters, stifling hot summers, crime, assault, and the judgement of others. His youth betraying the lifetime of challenges he had already overcome.

Arriving at his new supportive housing residence, within hours of recovering from an overdose, Caroline’s son was about to be immersed into a world neither of them knew existed.

“He was getting healthcare,” she recalls. “Blood tests, a haircut, showers, his own bed. For the first time in years.”

“We went up to his room; I’ve had the basic stuff I brought for him in my car,” Caroline remembers. “There’s not much in the room, his bed, a dresser, so we’re unloading everything and he’s standing there a little overwhelmed. It’s a lot.”

Almost four months later, on the eve of her 31st Mother’s Day, Caroline is beginning to breathe easier. She’s getting to know herself. Recently retired, she looks forward to doing things for Caroline, because she knows her son is safe.

“Hope is a good name for where he lives,” she says. “The staff are saving the people in their care by showing them, patience, dignity, respect, and kindness.”

Slowly, and at her son’s pace, trust began to develop between him and the people providing the around the clock care he so desperately needed.

“It’s been an adjustment for him and for me,” she says. “I’m used to having to look after him and manage everything. But he’s getting healthier. His skin and general health are much improved, he seems happier and smiles often. I’m slowly beginning to let go, but it was quite a shock, to stop the constant worry.”

It’s not all perfect. Setbacks may happen. However, for Caroline, right here, right now, knowing he’s off the streets, in the hands of people who genuinely care and receiving the one-on-one support he needs is what gives Caroline the chance to enjoy being Caroline.

And, while she is not overly religious, she thinks of the scripture, “For where two or three gather in My name, I am there in the midst of them”.

Caroline will always be there for her son and daughter. That’s what mum’s do, on Mother’s Day and every day. She also knows the team at Shepherds will also be there, using their smiles, their kindness, and their professionalism to provide Ben with the dignity, respect and help he needs.

When she visits him now, she leaves with a simple, new dream; HOPE.